Piglet Visits for a Week
July of 2003
Thunderbelly arrived early in the morning. Ate a can. Spent the day sitting on the downstairs radiator looking out the window. Tatti sat on the stairs, keeping guard. Milla hid in the gallery, comforted by the robot feeder. Another can in the evening failed to satiate the little piggy.
It was then discovered that he has a voracious craving for Morningstar Vegetarian Corned Beef. He ate plenty, and some Monterey Jack cheese. Tattiana watched him from the counter for a while. She's fascinated by him and indifferent to him at the same time. Piglet wandered around with foodface and pulled a bowl of apples off of the kitchen table. The girls got scared upstairs and Tattiana slept on the bed. Milla, uncharacteristically, slept on the chair next to the bed, afraid of the monster. Throughout the night we could hear it exploring, at one point the toilet seat slammed down. Then we heard the beast doing battle with the robot feeder and drinking out of the bowl in the hallway. Around 11:00 I heard the creature scratching on the hallway floor and leapt from bed, grabbing him in mid pee and running down the hall to the litter box. Held him over the litter box till he was empty. Paper towels were on hand.
Piglet wandered into my the bedroom looking for food at 6:30. Tatti observed him from her new perch atop the dresser. Mooless had a can and a thyroid pill for breakfast which he finished and licked clean by 6:40. He ate some of my breakfast. Milla was glued to my heels for protection. She sat on the stairs and listened to the beast eat breakfast. Am astounded at how messy he is. My assiduously clean kitchen floor is a wreck. Bits of food are scattered four feet in every direction. No attempt on my part of keeping it clean has been successful. I will need to purchase some sort of spillage mat today. During the night he had managed to knock over my statue of the Buddha and rearrange everything on the radiator to his satisfaction. He's also been very chatty and very amenable to having his ears scratched. If one begins ear scratching, he'll just lay down where he's standing. He's a cute little bone bag. He seems to be actively participating in his fattening.
Upset by Piglet's pooing on the floor in the hallway, Tattiana got bold and peed on the pile to claim it as her own. That fatso is a terribly bad influence. Good think I'd already taken up the carpets and stored them away in the Club for the Gentry. Piglet likes to sit in the window downstairs and listen to the stray cats fighting.
Claws in the face at 3:00 a.m. Can time.... Entire upstairs of the house smells like a urinal. Piglet discovered that the roll of paper towels was his enemy and peed on it.
Discovered that Piggy likes to shove a snot, drool, and food covered snout in your ear. Yum!
Fatso woke up HUNGRY at 4:00 in the morning and needed a can. poor thing. Then another one at 6:30. Spent much of the day in the fridge. In the evening he became lost and I frantically tore around the house wondering if he'd gotten outside while I was weeding the back yard. After 20 minutes of searching I found him asleep in the basement under the stairs. Little Piggy!
Piglet's been on a regular schedule of four cans a day. The first between 4:00 and 5:00 and the next somewhere between 6:30 and when I leave at 7:30. Then one when I get home, and another before I go to bed. Last night he climbed into the bed with me, chasing the girls up onto the dresser. He was purring loudly and drooling on my arm. The drip drip drip down my arm kept waking me up so I had to wrap a towel around my arm to soak it up while he purred and I slept.
Piglet has turned my meticulous house into a disaster area. He's knocked down every photograph stationed upon a horizontal surface, re-arranged sculpture, and shoved food beneath the cracks in the walls. He's been peeing his way through a quarter of a roll of toilet paper a day on the hallway floor. I'm thinking I should invest in a package of diapers. The whole house smells like cat pee. Luckily he seems to be confining himself to a 10 foot perimeter around the litter box.